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Fool’s Errand

"Fool's Errand" by Vanessa Davis
The title text is surrounded by a splash of green and a toilet plunger.

Vanessa narrates, "When I was just out of college, I went to Guatemala to study weaving and embroidery."
Vanessa sits at a backstrap loom with woven yarns of many bright colors. She wears a bright yellow shirt and looks stressed. Her thought bubble contains a question and exclamation marks.

Vanessa as narrator continues, "I stayed with a textile artist who happened to be a New York-Jewish hippie lady around my mom's age. (we all bathed in the sauna)
Vanessa sits with an older woman and a much younger boy in a sauna. The boy's arms are crossed and he looks ahead, ignoring the other two. They are all naked and sweating. The woman looks haughty, eyes closed with raised chin and eyebrows, as she says, "You're 21 but a young 21! You're sheltered!"
Vanessa, annoyed, responds, "I'm 22!"

Narration: "I lived with her in exchange for work but after 3 months of me in her home, she seemed to feel like I was getting the better end of the deal."
The woman is now wearing a purple and blue dress, glasses, earrings, and a purple headpiece. She looks stern, hands on hips, and says, "You don't fool me, with your Little Miss Innocent act! I know what you're doing!"
Vanessa, back in her yellow shirt, looks indignant and says, "How? I don't even know what I'm doing!"

Narration: "Everyone thinks they know what's going on. No saps around here. Last week in a cab with my sister:"
Vanessa and her sister, who has similar straight reddish hair worn down and wears glasses, sit in the backseat of a car, perhaps an Uber/Lyft. The driver is dressed conservatively, with a gray-blue hat and gray-blue long-sleeved turtleneck. The driver scowls and says, "And then we have 'Shillary' who's on the brink of death!"
Vanessa looks out the window obviously annoyed and replies, "Oh, she's FINE!"
The driver retorts, "Well they say she has Parkinson's"
Vanessa: "So WHAT"
Vanessa's sister, smiling, chimes in, "We're actually just coming from a Hillary fundraiser!"

Vanessa narrates, "One thing you can say about BEAVERS is that you know what they're doing. For instance, did you know they automatically start building a dam when they hear the sound of running water?"
A beaver faces the reader. A body of running water flows behind it. The beaver says, "!"

Vanessa continues, "This compulsion has been exploited to humanely resolve people/beaver conflicts."
A person dressed in a green park ranger uniform holds a boom box over a beaver's dam. It plays water sounds. The beaver keeps building the dam and thinks, "Whatever, I don't care where I build it."

Vanessa: "Beavers are a keystone species. Many plants and animals exist and thrive directly because of them."
In the foreground, a beaver gnaws at a tree trunk and thinks, "I do this for me. If it helps you, fine." Behind the beaver is a landscape scene full of life. In the middle of a river there is a dam. In the river are a turtle, a frog, a fish, and a floating bird. Behind the dam is a large moose and a dragonfly. A woodpecker sits atop the tree that the beaver gnaws at.

Vanessa: "Their lodges provide warmth and safety through the winter for them and whoever else decides to join them."
A mouse looks to a beaver and asks, "Are you my mommy?"
The beaver replies, "I can see how one might make that mistake! But no."
A frog then faces the beaver and asks, "What about me, are you MY mommyâ€”"
The beaver, annoyed, cuts them off with a firm "NO!"

Vanessa, wearing a purple t-shirt, looks directly at the reader and says, "You know what, relax. I'll get to the point when I feel like it. Maybe. Hopefully."

She narrates, "When Trevor and I managed an apartment complex in Hollywood, everyone was suspicious of us."
Vanessa wears her hair in a bun and is dressed in a pink tank top. She stands at a door and with both arms holds a hammer close to her chest. An older woman holds the door open from inside, scowling and shouting, "I know you're the landlord's niece!"
Vanessa says, "No, I'm not!"
The woman, even louder, shouts, "DON'T LIE TO ME!!"

Vanessa continues, "The mere fact that we were the apartment managers was enough to incriminate us."
A man in a red bathrobe sips on coffee at a patio table. He looks comfortable and relaxed.

Vanessa: "The landlords were a kindly older couple who lived around the corner. They were friends of my sister's new in-laws from temple."
The same woman from before leans closer to Vanessa, appearing even angrier. She says, "And I know the landlords are Nazis who escaped to Argentina!"
Vanessa looks defiant, chin up and standing up straighter than before.

Narration: "I'm not saying they were saints or anything. They were content to pay me and Trevor what came out to about $4 an hour. But nice enough landlords."
Vanessa, wearing a bun, a blue t-shirt, and gray shorts, carries two large moving boxes, one reading "LAMP" and the other "BEDROOM." She looks physically tired and thinks, "Boy I hope this manager job isn't a big mistake! Well, family wouldn't steer me wrong!"
She is following behind a woman wearing a blue baseball cap, pink tank top, and blue shorts. She enters a decorative door to an apartment.

Vanessa narrates, "The tenants were definitely creepier."
The woman in a blue cap, which we can now see says "L.A.", slams the door behind her, leaving Vanessa outside still carrying the boxes and looking stressed. The woman appears smug. Vanessa as narrator notes that the woman "later went on to communicate with us exclusively through dog shit."

Narration: "Long story short, it was an evil place. They people were suspect themselves and that's why they were so suspicious of us. Bad things happened; it was a very dark time."
Vanessa, in her bright yellow shirt and with hair down, writes in her diary, "In spite of everything, I guess I believe that people are scum."

Narration: "Though, to be fair, a manager before us did maintain a sex dungeon full of teenage runaways in the basement. (We just used it for light bulbs and stuff.)
Vanessa cautiously stands in the threshold of a basement, carrying a bunch of long lightbulbs in her arms and flipping on the light switch.

Narration: "I know I'm naive, and fine, I'm sheltered."
Vanessa, in a green-gray t-shirt, tells her mom's best friend, "Managing that building was one of the worst experiences of my life!"
The best friend, a woman with glasses and hair in a large bun, smiles sympathetically and says, "Then you're very lucky!"

Narration: "And I've been foolish. But never so dumb as to think I could ever know what's really going on."
Vanessa sits on a couch, arms wrapped around a purple pillow, as she watches TV. Her expression is neutral. The TV program says, "Welcome to BEAVERS: Nature's APARTMENT MANAGERS on Animal Planet!"

"Fool's Errand" by Vanessa Davis The title text is surrounded by a splash of green and a toilet plunger. Vanessa narrates, "When I was just out of college, I went to Guatemala to study weaving and embroidery." Vanessa sits at a backstrap loom with woven yarns of many bright colors. She wears a bright yellow shirt and looks stressed. Her thought bubble contains a question and exclamation marks. Vanessa as narrator continues, "I stayed with a textile artist who happened to be a New York-Jewish hippie lady around my mom's age. (we all bathed in the sauna) Vanessa sits with an older woman and a much younger boy in a sauna. The boy's arms are crossed and he looks ahead, ignoring the other two. They are all naked and sweating. The woman looks haughty, eyes closed with raised chin and eyebrows, as she says, "You're 21 but a young 21! You're sheltered!" Vanessa, annoyed, responds, "I'm 22!" Narration: "I lived with her in exchange for work but after 3 months of me in her home, she seemed to feel like I was getting the better end of the deal." The woman is now wearing a purple and blue dress, glasses, earrings, and a purple headpiece. She looks stern, hands on hips, and says, "You don't fool me, with your Little Miss Innocent act! I know what you're doing!" Vanessa, back in her yellow shirt, looks indignant and says, "How? I don't even know what I'm doing!" Narration: "Everyone thinks they know what's going on. No saps around here. Last week in a cab with my sister:" Vanessa and her sister, who has similar straight reddish hair worn down and wears glasses, sit in the backseat of a car, perhaps an Uber/Lyft. The driver is dressed conservatively, with a gray-blue hat and gray-blue long-sleeved turtleneck. The driver scowls and says, "And then we have 'Shillary' who's on the brink of death!" Vanessa looks out the window obviously annoyed and replies, "Oh, she's FINE!" The driver retorts, "Well they say she has Parkinson's" Vanessa: "So WHAT" Vanessa's sister, smiling, chimes in, "We're actually just coming from a Hillary fundraiser!"

Vanessa narrates, "One thing you can say about BEAVERS is that you know what they're doing. For instance, did you know they automatically start building a dam when they hear the sound of running water?" A beaver faces the reader. A body of running water flows behind it. The beaver says, "!" Vanessa continues, "This compulsion has been exploited to humanely resolve people/beaver conflicts." A person dressed in a green park ranger uniform holds a boom box over a beaver's dam. It plays water sounds. The beaver keeps building the dam and thinks, "Whatever, I don't care where I build it." Vanessa: "Beavers are a keystone species. Many plants and animals exist and thrive directly because of them." In the foreground, a beaver gnaws at a tree trunk and thinks, "I do this for me. If it helps you, fine." Behind the beaver is a landscape scene full of life. In the middle of a river there is a dam. In the river are a turtle, a frog, a fish, and a floating bird. Behind the dam is a large moose and a dragonfly. A woodpecker sits atop the tree that the beaver gnaws at. Vanessa: "Their lodges provide warmth and safety through the winter for them and whoever else decides to join them." A mouse looks to a beaver and asks, "Are you my mommy?" The beaver replies, "I can see how one might make that mistake! But no." A frog then faces the beaver and asks, "What about me, are you MY mommyâ€”" The beaver, annoyed, cuts them off with a firm "NO!" Vanessa, wearing a purple t-shirt, looks directly at the reader and says, "You know what, relax. I'll get to the point when I feel like it. Maybe. Hopefully." She narrates, "When Trevor and I managed an apartment complex in Hollywood, everyone was suspicious of us." Vanessa wears her hair in a bun and is dressed in a pink tank top. She stands at a door and with both arms holds a hammer close to her chest. An older woman holds the door open from inside, scowling and shouting, "I know you're the landlord's niece!" Vanessa says, "No, I'm not!" The woman, even louder, shouts, "DON'T LIE TO ME!!"

Vanessa continues, "The mere fact that we were the apartment managers was enough to incriminate us." A man in a red bathrobe sips on coffee at a patio table. He looks comfortable and relaxed. Vanessa: "The landlords were a kindly older couple who lived around the corner. They were friends of my sister's new in-laws from temple." The same woman from before leans closer to Vanessa, appearing even angrier. She says, "And I know the landlords are Nazis who escaped to Argentina!" Vanessa looks defiant, chin up and standing up straighter than before. Narration: "I'm not saying they were saints or anything. They were content to pay me and Trevor what came out to about $4 an hour. But nice enough landlords." Vanessa, wearing a bun, a blue t-shirt, and gray shorts, carries two large moving boxes, one reading "LAMP" and the other "BEDROOM." She looks physically tired and thinks, "Boy I hope this manager job isn't a big mistake! Well, family wouldn't steer me wrong!" She is following behind a woman wearing a blue baseball cap, pink tank top, and blue shorts. She enters a decorative door to an apartment. Vanessa narrates, "The tenants were definitely creepier." The woman in a blue cap, which we can now see says "L.A.", slams the door behind her, leaving Vanessa outside still carrying the boxes and looking stressed. The woman appears smug. Vanessa as narrator notes that the woman "later went on to communicate with us exclusively through dog shit."

Narration: "Long story short, it was an evil place. They people were suspect themselves and that's why they were so suspicious of us. Bad things happened; it was a very dark time." Vanessa, in her bright yellow shirt and with hair down, writes in her diary, "In spite of everything, I guess I believe that people are scum." Narration: "Though, to be fair, a manager before us did maintain a sex dungeon full of teenage runaways in the basement. (We just used it for light bulbs and stuff.) Vanessa cautiously stands in the threshold of a basement, carrying a bunch of long lightbulbs in her arms and flipping on the light switch. Narration: "I know I'm naive, and fine, I'm sheltered." Vanessa, in a green-gray t-shirt, tells her mom's best friend, "Managing that building was one of the worst experiences of my life!" The best friend, a woman with glasses and hair in a large bun, smiles sympathetically and says, "Then you're very lucky!" Narration: "And I've been foolish. But never so dumb as to think I could ever know what's really going on." Vanessa sits on a couch, arms wrapped around a purple pillow, as she watches TV. Her expression is neutral. The TV program says, "Welcome to BEAVERS: Nature's APARTMENT MANAGERS on Animal Planet!"

Tags: Diary, Humor, memoir, non-fiction, slice of life

Published On: November 5, 2023

A guy in a blue snow suit races the Iditarod with standard poodles.

Lynn as a young girl wears a pink dance dress, with spaghetti straps and decorative bows, and white tights with the black tap shoes from before. Her hair is tied up in a pony tail with a white ribbon. Her hands are on her hips. She thinks to herself, "shuffle, ball change," "whoops," "step, ball change, step, ball change." An arrow points out that she is "mostly copying the other girls."

Enzo sits on the floor of his room shirtless, back turned to the reader. In front of him is a wall of floating shelves holding books and trinkets. Next to him is a clothes hamper. He is holding a book open. "April 27. Worked. Had an early work meeting. After work, chopped a bunch of Mexican sunflower to feed some plants in need. Enzo dug through his comic collection."

Lynn's brother Adam reaches into a crib and touches baby Lynn's eyes with his "grubby mitts." He says, "Open your eyes, baby sister!"

Enzo waits in a park for Kim to pick him up, on a strip of sidewalk surrounded by grass. He wears a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers, all black or simply silhouetted. There are lamp posts and palm trees in the background. "April 20. Worked. Enz left school early, coughing a lot. Went to Mom's while Enz did mock trial. Picked him up from the park."

Vanessa sits on a couch hugging her knees to her chest. A man sits next to her. They both look solemn, and are colored entirely in blue, except for their brown hair.

Vanessa lies in a neon green hospital bed with her legs in stirrups. She is actively in labor. Two people hold onto her legs, encouraging her.

Lorraine wears a pink-orange Butterick 2920 dress and jewelry. She smiles and holds up a dirty martini. She says, "The doctor says it calms my nerves. We won't be out too late."

Kim sits at a desk but is turned to face the viewer. A PC, keyboard and mouse are on the desk, and there is a chair a couple feet away. She is wearing glasses and comfortable clothes. Her legs are crossed. She holds a pencil in one hand, and grabs her shoulder with the other. Her dog sits at her feet; his ear is turned inside out. She points out that he's worried. "April 14. Worked on final project for class all day. Neck hurt. Tony took this picture because Molly and I both looked a mess. Enzo got a bad report card yesterday so we laid out some repercussions."

Lynn, in black and white, chugs from a glass.

A cat sits at a window sill, looking boldly at the reader. The fronds of a palm tree are reflected in the window. "April 8. Thursday. Worked. Tony had a union meeting, via Zoom. I had a call w/ team member from class. Enzo had mock trial."

Derek, wearing an orange turtle neck, poses with his arms outstretched above his head and making peace signs. His eyes are closed and he is smiling; he appears smug. There are camera flashes surrounding him, and two people hold microphones up to him. He says, "Hey! There's nothin' wrong with crying. Or been' soft. Or pig boys. I'm still a nice guy and that's what matters."

A person dressed in a green park ranger uniform holds a boom box over a beaver's dam. It plays water sounds. A beaver works on the dam and thinks, "Whatever, I don't care where I build it."

A girl looks over at a dog, who sits behind a fence. A red sign reads "BAD DOG."

A reddish brown building with smoking chimneys.

Derek sleeps in a hammock. He says, "JFC. KMS."

"Rory runs in a field surrounded by palm trees and other foliage. Description: "April 2. Watched Rory. Worked."

Young Lynn gazes at herself in a full length mirror. She is wearing a blue dress and too-big blue heels. She appears pregnant.

Derek sits on the floor with one of his kids, who reads a book and looks slightly bored. The title reads "Escape." Derek is talking to his kid.

Kim sits at a picnic table amongst trees and foliage. Caption: "March 26-27. Worked. Enzo's mock trial team won circuits. A co-worker bought me pho for my bday. I ate it at the park on break."

"Women often say they become invisible as they get older." Vanessa walks in a crowd, sandwiched by two fashionable younger women walking in different directions.

Part of a hand-drawn and colored map, labeled: "The Southwest Corner of Minneapolis in the 1960s..."

A man, likely Tony, stands on a ladder against the roof of a house, positioned right by a satellite dish. The house door is open. Reeds in the corner add a sense of balance to the panel. Description reads: "March 20. Saturday. Worked. Two summer permaculture practicums are now being offered. It will focus on the installations of food forests. Might have to quit my job in order to take'm. Anxious about the financial hit but I'd have more time for art/comics."

A black and white image of a house, with trees in the front and back and a speech bubble that reads, "What's new?"

Three people sit at a round kitchen table on a checkered tile floor. They appear to be in conversation. Description reads: "March 14. Spent the night at moms place in Bradenton. Ann and Mariely are on the night shift so we visited with them when they got home in the morning. Afterwards we got takeout breakfast and walked in the woods. Drove home after and relaxed."

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